never would i....

but i wish i had the balls to do this:

Christmas 2010

My sweet little Christmas Elf <3

Presents under the tree?

That little peanut!! i swear hes the best! <3

crumpled wrapping paper.

hes the flying baby!

what?  you've never seen that before?

So i went on yet another journey to Chicago.

and i auditioned for this.

it's called "The glee project" 

it was a crazy (but wonderful experience).

first of all let me tell you something.

Chicago was ffffrrreeeeeeeeezzzing!

so standing in a line of people for over an hour

outside in the cold.

was not exactly something that i would call pleasant.

however meeting some awesome people 

made it worth it.

I did not do as well as i would have hoped for.

but i learned something about me

and the way i do things.

and i perform out of fear. 

a fear of doing poorly 

and also that these people will kill me or something.

i must get over this mentality that i have.

because i am a damn good singer

but my nerves always seem to get in my way!

more auditions to come thats for sure!

anyway i guess this video will sum up the experience of being in the holding room for all of those hours.

in the audition room we went in 4 at a time. and sang our songs. 

they picked who they wanted to move on. 

and the others went home.

i got there at 830 am. 

was not dismissed until 1pm.

the life of a wann-a-be actor.

haha

Ten Years

Ten years ago today.

was the saddest day for a 13 year old girl.

this girl.

it was the first time she had to deal with death.

losing someone she loved so deeply.

someone she had such a strong bond with.

this person helped to shape who this girl was to become 10 years later.

I miss you Grampa.

I miss the way you used to hold my hand when we would walk around the block.

I miss playing darts in your basement and you always letting me win. (despite how bad i was)

I miss those car rides in your blue station wagon picking out the "purple people eaters" (I still spot them and think of you)

I miss your gentle smile

your sweet hugs

and everything that you have ever done for me and with me.

I love you Grampa!

They always say that a girl looks for characteristics in her soulmate to mimick her fathers.

not me. I look for someone who is like him.

My Grandma was the richest woman in the world for having married such a wonderful man

I hope I am half as lucky.

<3

Winter Air

most see the spring as new beginnings

but i disagree. 

i feel that the beginning starts in winter.

fresh crisp air blowing in my face

snowflakes that tickle my nose

and new adventures to be had.

always start in the coldest of months.

i am ready. 

i am excited.

in two weeks i will have auditioned for 

the reality show to find the next glee star

i will have a different monetary situation

and possible a photography business

(MB sister love. lets chat about this!)

new doors are opening.

and i hope that they lead me 

in a direction that will make me happiest.

I know i am early but i have some new goals for the new year

- write down everything

- practice my crafts

-promote a healthier lifestyle for myself

- get inspiration from everything

- learn more monologues

- do not pass up any opportunites 

- be ready for anything

<3

i love my family.

This is what keeps me going. 

i love my family so much.

i would not trade that little monkey

and that big monkey for anything.

<3

Confessions of a chubby tomboy

Don't miss your chance to see Stacey Smith perform her heart out! Oct 21+22 8pm

at the Clare Rose Playhouse. Reserve your tickets now! 631-654-0199. 

*you wont want to miss this!*

life was simplier...

without facebook....

love gives me hope

As my parents died when I was younger, my grandma brought me up.

My grandma is a strong catholic so when I told her I was gay and getting married, I was expecting a rant off her, but the first thing she said was "so who's the lucky guy?"

People who defy their beliefs for the ones they love GMH.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

So, it's National coming out day
and I just wanted to say how proud I am of all the people in my life
who live proudly and happily as they are.
I cant imagine the courage it takes.
I also can't wait until the world catches up
and realizes it's not about who you love as long as you love yourself first. 

Love is the most powerful thing in the world.
just love.
fall in love. be in love.
Love your other half, your friends,
your family,
and most importantly yourself.
Be proud of who you are, and who you love!

<3

Soon.

so very soon.

October

Since as far back as i can remember

ive been getting sick every October. 

without fail.

strep is usually what takes control of

every fiber of my body.

not this year. 

i bought myself multivitamins 

to soothe my body

i will not get sick this october! 

Healthy month lets go!!

...om...

Positivity.

YARD SALE!

I would gladly take anything off of your hands

that you no longer wish to own.

:o)

please make all donations by friday.

it now makes sense.

headaches:

"Exposure to second hand smoke, even for brief periods, can cause eye, nose and throat irritation. It can also cause headaches, dizziness, nausea, coughing and wheezing. Second hand smoke can seriously intensify symptoms in people with allergies or asthma."

- http://www.stopsmokingcenter.net/education/secondhand.aspx

clearly... im fucked.

but now i know why i get so many at work.

and why i hardly get them when i have days off.

yep. makes sense.

BANGS!!!

for whatever reason
Drew Barrymore.
sucks me in everytime.
love her.

middle school drama

Seriously.
I am a college grad.
I lived through grade school.
and i will live through working in the office at Toyota.

Why must a small room of all women (but one)
resort to talking badly about on another.
I dont understand personally.
Everything would run so smoothy
if only everyone would take a moment to breathe.

Hear me out.
Middle school was all about the drama.
Who's friends with who.
(at work its who does what job
aka the billers and the bookkeepers)
In school it was always trying to be friends with
someone in the popular crowd
In school it was all about trying to find a way
to make things hard for other people
(at work its snippy and unhelpful
answers)
In school when something you do is wrong
the teacher corrects you and you learn
(at work everyone gets on your case
and now in bitter revenge
you change none of your ways)


these among many other things
are the exact reason i keep
quietly to myself
and do my work.

friendship

Proof that friendship.
and love.
can come in all shapes and sizes.

< 3

Nights like this are always needed.

5 things

that i loved about today:

sunshine

a snuggly gizmo

a clean car

gathering of motley crew

4 buck mixed drinks at nappers

not a want.

Need This.

incredible. hehe. please click that. you wont be disappointed. :o)

headshots.

Chicago

Chicago is a dream.
a dream that i need to make happen.
Its a place I can see being.
living. learning. and loving.
lets hope december 1st.
in my new apartment.
with my new roommates.
taking acting classes.
and loving life.
<3
this has to happen.

happy

moments i love.

sweetest.

Coley Moley Meets Megan.

He was tired and aunt courtney wanted to take photos.

heartbreaker

they bonded. <3>

Spring Photography.

my front yard is full of beautiful images waiting to be captured.
I can not wait for all the green leaves to come out.
so many more photos to take
and i've already missed so many of them!

Coley Time.

He makes me smile on the worst of days.