Follow your bliss.

Bob Fraser's advice for actors. (i think it can apply to anyone in any situation)

1. It's usually not about you. I know this is hard to get, but believe me, most other people are not thinking about you when they do the things they do or make the decisions they make. Always keep this in mind when you are on the receiving end of a bummer. Just keep repeating, "It's not about me, it's not about me."

2. Keep your accomplishments in mind. Again, it's easy to forget what you HAVE done when faced with something that hasn't worked out for you. But you must keep a good tally of each forward step, every little victory, and all the small things you get done every day. Don't forget this golden oldie: "The longest journey begins with the first step." And every little accomplishment is getting you closer to your goal.

3. You are already a member of the club. You are a human being and like all of the other members of the club, you may sometimes feel as if you have something to prove. You don't. Other people's opinion of you will not change your membership status. You cannot be drummed out of the club. You will always be a human being and you don't have to go out of your way to prove it. So relax.

4. You are not a walrus. No matter what anybody else says, you are not their definition. If other people say things to make you feel less than great, it's their problem not yours. Wisecracks at your expense are usually just someone else's attempt to be more than they are by making you less than you are. Ignore them. They will go away. Or you will.

5. As I point out in my book, love is the engine of success. Be a loving person, love what you do, love those who love you and don't forget that anyone who tries to make you hateful is attempting to rob you of your engine. Don't let them do this. You need this engine to get where you want to go. Love your enemies - it will drive them crazy. Hate your enemies and it will drive YOU crazy. Don't get crazy until you have REALLY good health insurance.

6. There is no perfect. Oh, how we try... but it just doesn't exist. Don't let your need for the perfect picture, the perfect part, the perfect timing or the perfect opportunity stop you from going forward in a less than perfect way. Going forward is the only way to attain the goal. Waiting for the perfect is a plan to keep waiting forever. I repeat, there is no perfect. Don't wait. Do it now.

7. What you like is important. You have taste. You are discerning. If you want a coffee table made out of a wagon wheel... go for it. Don't think that living your life in accord with someone else's taste will ever work for you. It won't. The reason this is important is this: following your own likes and dislikes will help you to be mentally at peace with yourself. Emotionally fit. And trusting your taste will keep you away from doing things that generally will be disastrous to your mental health. Follow YOUR bliss.

8. Nothing ever works the way it is supposed to. It's like physics or something. What this means is that when things don't work out for you, (which happens to everyone every so often) you shouldn't attach too much importance to the event. In fact, it is the very randomness of our universe that guarantees that bad things will happen from time to time. It is almost always a terrible idea to make big decisions based on one event... so don't. We all have issues. Deal.

9. Always remember to breathe. You would be surprised at how many bad decisions you will make while holding your breath. A good deep breath can save you money, save relationships, save jobs, and keep you alive. It's this last thing that I attach a lot of importance to. Almost no one succeeds after they are dead. Okay, some painters... but the dead ones don't get to spend the money.

Mine

It's interesting to come into a place where things are already set up and you have been given permission to make it your own. I still feel like its not my desk and that I shouldnt be touching or looking or playing. but i do it. even though i feel like it is not my own desk to poke around in. that changed today. I dove right in thinking about what i wanted to do and how i wanted to do it. for the first 2 hours of my shift this morning, i retyped things to make them look better. you know i type in a certain font and style and it is more me. next step is cleaning the desk. it is filthy. in the process of doing so i will be re-arranging. this is my desk. we'll see how well this goes.

Let's see....

Well... I've finally started my new job at Kia. It's certainly something new. But I think I'll live and get used to it. It's almost even half enjoyable. The owner puts a lot of faith in me. He keeps saying how happy he is to have me over here and how well he thinks I am going to do over here. It's nice to hear that's for sure. The processes they have at Toyota, they want me to mirror over here. So the owner has me in charge of that. However, the salespeople do not seem very willing to embrace this change and I am in the middle of what the owner wants and keeping the salespeople happy. Oh well. Owner, i think he wins that battle.

Right now I am surrounded by windows that allow me to watch the quick falling snow. It is lovely and I love watching it fall. I can not get enough of it. However. Driving. in this. makes me not a happy camper. But atleast i get to watch it for eight hours and love it until 5.

I learned a very valuable lesson this morning. No matter how badly I am craving coffee. getting a venti from starbucks is a terrible idea. I have been DYING to bring coffee with me to work all week. and i finally left my house early enough to stop somewhere, but the line outside my bagel shop. HUGE. oh well. so starbucks it was. short line. all mine. my tummy is paying for that decision as i write.

So as you can tell my project 365 already is a failed project of the past. It doesnt mean I am not photographing life. because i am. Life got a bit hectic and i cant imagine taking the time out to do so every day. when something important comes around for me to photograph. They will be posted. promise.

What I think I will do from now on, since this is the only fun website i can get onto... i will post daily things about my day. absurdities maybe. who knows really. we'll find out each day now wont we?

On tuesday i learned that you should always call before driving a half hour to go to an audition only to discover that the audition was cancelled. weirdest night of my life. it was ridiculous. Signs everywhere. CANCELLED. I was extremely bummed. I was ready. to sing. to dance. to perform that song. and i was denied the opportunity to show off what i've been working hard on. next time. absolutely next time. i will show them that i can do whatever they throw at me! I will be on that stage again soon. mark my words.

day twenty three

This is how i spent day 23.
in the arms of coley moley.
yes, he did sleep for an hour on aunt courtney.
just like the photo above.
The photo of gizmo,
thats him mid-chew.
he was chewing ice.
the only dog i know that BEGS for ice.
<3

day twenty

Day twenty was spent eating dinner
with these two lovelies.
I adore. both.
i hope more adventures are in store.
and more photo opportunities to come.
<3

day something.

How many dogs do you know snuggle on your bed like this
you can just cover them with a blanket (aka make the bed over them)
and they'll just sleep.
I know i say it a lot.
i love him.

project 365...

sadly, I have become a huge bum. I am still photographing. and loving. just as much as I previously was, however life hasnt given me many opportunities to inspire. but life is life. and gizmo does adorable things that I just happen to capture in that moment. When I find the time and energy to update the photos I have missed. then they will be up. but i'm enjoying the moments and photographing them when i am compelled to do so. I'm not ready for such a task as project 365. I am not disciplined enough.

day fourteen.

Harbor Crabbin'
Good tunes.
Good friends.
great love.

day thirteen.

I can not help but take a photo of him every time he does this.
That blue hoodie was "fluffed" before he carefully laid down on it.
<3

makes me cry.

My little 8 year old sister has leukemia. Today I visited her in hospital and she said to me

“Ellie, I know I’m going to die. But I know that I’m going to be coming back as a kitten. So after I’m gone and when a kitten comes to your door. It will be me. I will always love you. Even when I’ll be a cat”.

Her beautiful words GMH.

day twelve.

Grammie and Coley Moley.
Gosh that kid is a cutie.
he slept on aunt courtface for an hour.
<3

day eleven.

The reason I get nothing done.
he lays on the clothes that i want to put away.
he makes me want to snuggle him.
he looks like a cat.
gosh i love this pup.

behind.

I am behind in my daily photos. *sigh* must get on that tonight...

day nine.

This photo didn't look this rad when it was taken.
woohoo girl date!
It looks like fire,
and there is megan.
just being.
serene and at peace
with the world.
as always.
love.

day eight.

I feel like this photo explains my day quite well.
I hate that I cant be on this wonderful plan any longer.
I'd have to be a citizen of Connecticut, along with my parents.
How does that make sense?

day seven.

I was not inspired today. by anything i saw. or anything i did.
It was just an average run of the mill day.
I hope i dont have a lot of these in the next 358 days.

day six.

little green men are made for the nativity scene.

dinner at chili's is the perfect photo opportunity.

i realized that if i moved my camera while taking the photo... it blurred the lights. I think it's fun.
<3

day five.

I'm ready. for those new beginnings.
so are these buds.
bring it.

I love convos like this one.

StArYNiTe329 (1:19:48 AM): ...i hope, for my sake, no one calls you...

mancinoxvii (1:20:34 AM): i hope too

mancinoxvii (1:20:42 AM): also for my sake

StArYNiTe329 (1:20:59 AM): wel then wouldnt that be for our sake? lol

mancinoxvii (1:21:18 AM): haha yeah, but we're both selfish in this relationship haha

StArYNiTe329 (1:21:28 AM): not exactly.

mancinoxvii (1:21:43 AM): but you said "my sake"

StArYNiTe329 (1:22:00 AM): because i wasnt sure if "your sake" hoped the same thing.

mancinoxvii (1:22:59 AM): so then we're both unselfish if I hope for my sake also/

StArYNiTe329 (1:24:05 AM): no. if you're only hoping for your sake knowing that i hope for my sake unsure of your hoping for your sake then that makes you selfish. but if your hoping for your sake unaware of my sake which is unaware of your sake. then we are both unselfish.

StArYNiTe329 (1:24:08 AM):

mancinoxvii (1:26:57 AM): wait whaaat

StArYNiTe329 (1:27:02 AM): haha

StArYNiTe329 (1:27:13 AM): im not sure.

mancinoxvii (1:27:17 AM): Im confused but all I know is how can we both hope the same way and have different results?

StArYNiTe329 (1:27:40 AM): based upon knowing what the other hopes

StArYNiTe329 (1:27:44 AM): and not knowing what the other hopes

mancinoxvii (1:28:58 AM): how would you know what I hope? or do you mean I know what you hope?

StArYNiTe329 (1:29:19 AM): i dont know what you hope until you tell me.

StArYNiTe329 (1:29:23 AM): and vice versa

mancinoxvii (1:29:33 AM): right but who knew what the other hoped first/

StArYNiTe329 (1:29:39 AM): you knew first.

mancinoxvii (1:29:46 AM): ah ok

StArYNiTe329 (1:29:49 AM): because i vocalized it first

mancinoxvii (1:29:51 AM): belive it or not, I understand now

mancinoxvii (1:29:58 AM): I'm selfish

StArYNiTe329 (1:30:05 AM): why are you selfish?

mancinoxvii (1:30:44 AM): becaue knowing what you hoped for, I should have parlayed that into our hopes instead of continuing with my hopes

StArYNiTe329 (1:30:57 AM): ahhhh

StArYNiTe329 (1:31:05 AM): yes. you selfish person you!

mancinoxvii (1:32:56 AM): hahah

day four.

I'm ready for my career..
now that i have my subscription to BACKSTAGE.

Coffee with Amanda.
Needed.
Loved.

Not Pictured: Shopping adventure with Nikki.
a Jumper. A skirt. a birthday gift for my soon to be 13 year old cousin.
<3

day three

How much longer can I truly be at war with my closet?
it's terrible.
right now. My closet is winning.
one day closet. one day.

((when there is an after photo. that will be the photo for whatever day that happens. I hope it occurs in this year!))

day two.

It's a good thing i insisted on taking a photo of victor tonight.
Otherwise I would not have gotten this gem!
This was his way of hiding himself from me.
HA!
I won Victor!

Day one.

The jewish girl. owns holiday lights. mini tree.
Right now. these lights and tree mean something to me. not in a religious way.
but in a way that by looking at them I smile.
I see the pink lights that symbolize all the times Nikki and I went searching for them and came back empty handed. I wouldnt stop searching til I found them. It took me a year to find them. again. My room was christmas lightless for a whole year. it was sad. The tree is special. Nikki gave it to me. So my home wouldnt be tree-less. I have always loved the thoughtfulness of my best friend.


This wasnt taken today. as part of my resolution. This was taken because I love wrapping. And these gifts made me just as happy as the people they were for.

yay for holiday cheer!

I dont think I've ever felt more alone.