i never want to be like you....

How are you supposed to respect and actually love someone when you really cant stand them? It's a little odd to me. I do love and respect him. But I dont even like him.

When I have kids i will:
always be there for them.
not have a short temper.
give them the answer i really want to give them the first time around.
keep my word.
not be the "no parent"
help them when they have a problem.
not make them feel like crap when something went wrong.
guide them.
make them think that when things go wrong that it is their fault unless it actually is.

all in all... i know i have your genes and there are a lot of common ground between us.. but i dont want to be like you. Any part of you. ever.

wedding.

The only man I ever need....

this is my little Gizmo... isn't he lovely?

All over again...

I very much feel like things were ended with Justin all over again.... but it wasnt the same situation and it wasnt Justin, but i am hurting and reacting the same way i did when it came to him. my whole body was convulsing, I wasnt crying, but i was angry in a very sad way... I need to erase from my life.. just like I did with Justin. it was helpful to get over him when there was no sign of him around... i guess it starts with pictures and putting them in a box....

So new goal.. DONT LET ANYONE BREAK DOWN THE WALL...

lets see how well THAT works...

This hurts. my heart hurts. my head hurts. i am dehydrated from crying. my muscles ache from the convulsions.

Say you’re sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As i paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you 
Holding on the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should’ve known
I should’ve known

I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale 
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet 
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

Maybe I was naïve, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn’t know to be in love 
You had to fight to have the upper hand 
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, well now I know


I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale 
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet 
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down 
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted, but I’m so sorry. . .

Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now

Oh try and catch me now
It’s too late to catch me now


-White Horse (Taylor Swift)

*sigh*

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match


Thats what I need... a Yente.

Life Is Like A Box of... Crayons? ((never know which one you're gonna get))

I was looking on myspace at some photographer's page and this is what she wrote.. i read it and now i NEED to share it!

" Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, 'no - I want magenta!' "


Thank you girl I dont know for sharing this with me. It has been a little enlightening to me.